goldfish

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http://www.narcissisticgoldfish.com

Enter subhead content here

[01:04:32] <surekill_> i woke up and there was a shit load of ants goin across my bed, over the floor onto my desk and eating a sandwhich i left sittin there
[01:04:40] <surekill_> then when i brushed my teeth i was spitting out ants
[01:36:25] <goldfish> did you wake up to that and then go over and eat the sandwich?
[01:41:54] <surekill_> naw, i went straight into battle against the ants and won, and then made a new sandich
[01:42:02] <surekill_> sammich
[01:42:05] <surekill_> *
[01:43:09] <goldfish> did battle involve killing the ants
[01:43:11] <goldfish> with your teeth
[01:43:46] <surekill_> at first it did, then i went bio-warfare and now got a ton of incense burning to kill off the spray smell
[01:47:52] <goldfish> still unclear why brushing your teeth involved spitting out ants
[01:47:57] <goldfish> were they eating your toothbrush
[01:48:16] <surekill_> naw when i was sleeping some were crawling all over me n got in my mouth
[01:48:21] <goldfish> awesome

* angeltear was kicked by goldfish (you are not the boss of me.)
* angeltear (ircjunkie@c-24-245-53-211.mn.client2.attbi.com) has joined #okcupid
<angeltear> No, but you're a power hungry op. :)
<goldfish> i'm not power hungry. i am an op. i am power satisfied.

[23:43:15] <goldfish> why do women have foreheads?
[23:43:24] <goldfish> so you have some place to kiss them after they suck your cock
[23:43:24] <noxic> why
[23:43:27] <noxic> lol
[23:43:28] <goldfish> my boyfriend told me that after i blew him
[23:43:31] <goldfish> i think it's love
[23:43:37] <noxic> agreed
[00:07:06] <bright> goldfish: that is genius
[00:11:23] <goldfish> yeah
[00:11:33] <goldfish> i thought the forehead thing was pretty fucking awesome
[00:11:41] <bright> it's funny cause like
[00:11:46] <bright> i know a hell of a lot of jokes
[00:11:51] <bright> but i didn't know that one
[00:12:13] <goldfish> same
[00:15:24] <bright> the female orgasm is a myth
[00:16:38] <goldfish> a male orgasm feels just like a female orgasm
[00:16:40] <goldfish> except it's real
[00:23:19] <bright> LOLLLLLLLLLL
[00:23:33] <bright> women fake orgasms, men fake relationships
[00:23:42] <goldfish> hahah

[01:27] <goldfish> wait they have okcupid couples now?
[01:27] <goldfish> cause ive had like
[01:27] <goldfish> two of those
[01:27] <goldfish> and i never got to submit pictures
[01:27] <goldfish> and i had some fucking adoreable pictures of us
[01:27] <sarrf> well i think it's like
[01:27] <sarrf> just now
[01:27] <goldfish> before i dumped him
[01:28] <goldfish> WHY
[01:28] <sarrf> hah
[01:28] <goldfish> NOW THEY ARE GOOD FOR NOTHING
[01:28] <goldfish> oh well
[01:28] <goldfish> fuck them
[01:28] <goldfish> the best part about the picture was me though
[01:28] <goldfish> i'll have to take a picture with this new one
...
[01:34] <goldfish> hahahahahha
[01:34] <goldfish> i'm on the phone with my boyfriend
[01:34] <goldfish> he's chasing a fucking cat
[01:34] <sarrf> k
[01:34] <goldfish> down the block
[01:34] <goldfish> THANK YOU OKCUPID
[01:34] <sarrf> ran away?
[01:34] <goldfish> it's not his
[01:34] <goldfish> he went outside
[01:34] <goldfish> outside to piss
[01:34] <goldfish> and saw a cat
[01:35] <goldfish> and he's like hold on i'm gonna catch this cat and get him to come chill inside with us
[01:35] <goldfish> hahhahah
[01:35] <sarrf> haha
[01:38] <rkz> haha
[01:39] <tiaz> good idea: relaxing with your cat
[01:39] <tiaz> bad idea: relaxing with a stray cat
[01:40] <goldfish> haha

datamorph (3:29:32 PM): so what is the fishy up to
datamorph (3:29:38 PM): other than phoning it up with the sev
biSEXual virgin (3:29:48 PM): oh he got off the phone
biSEXual virgin (3:29:50 PM): very quickly
biSEXual virgin (3:29:52 PM): cause he was scared
datamorph (3:29:53 PM): hahahahh
datamorph (3:30:00 PM): why the hell is everyone scared of you
datamorph (3:30:03 PM): cuervo is at fucking boot camp
datamorph (3:30:05 PM): and he's scared of YOU
biSEXual virgin (3:30:18 PM): hahhaha
biSEXual virgin (3:30:22 PM): hahahahhaha
datamorph (3:30:29 PM): :-)
datamorph (3:30:39 PM): you're gonna make that an away message aren't
you? hahahah
biSEXual virgin (3:31:05 PM): yes :-[

Goldfish: ZOMG GOODBYE I'LL MISS YOU
Cuervo: no you won't. :P
Goldfish: WHO WILL TEXT WITH ME ABOUT COCK NOW?!?!
Cuervo: morph :D
Goldfish: he's not half so willing as you :(
Cuervo: :(
Goldfish: me: cocks
Goldfish: morph: HAVE YOU BEEN TALKING TO CUERVO AGAIN
Cuervo: hahahaha

[12:40:27] <athnex-> my grandpa was a marine
[12:40:30] <athnex-> he killled chinese
[12:40:33] <Accident> word
[12:40:37] <athnex-> at inchan
[12:40:40] <athnex-> or however its spelt
[12:40:46] <athnex-> with mcarthor
[12:40:54] <athnex-> he like was a forward observer
[12:41:03] <athnex-> artillery
[12:41:14] <athnex-> he was 17
[12:41:17] <athnex-> when they sent him out
[12:41:44] <athnex-> he signed up at 16, said he was 18, so he could shoot the big guns and drink and stuff
[12:41:50] <athnex-> then uh, when he was 17
[12:42:00] <athnex-> they shipped his people out
[12:42:14] <athnex-> and he was like to his XO, "Im only 17.. I cant go out, I lied"
[12:42:22] <athnex-> so the guy was like "lawl.. well lets make a man out of you then"
[12:42:25] <athnex-> and made him go
[12:43:02] <athnex-> he dosnt talk about it though.

[15:17:44] <Cannibal_> i'm going to take a polaroid of a math equation stating Penis + Sharpie = Goldfish
[15:18:00] <FlopSter> hahahaha
[15:18:05] <Cannibal_> then mail it to her

[15:16:23] <FlopSter> cuervo
[15:16:25] <FlopSter> i was a bad boy
[15:16:37] <FlopSter> i gave goldfish penis+goldfish pic
[15:16:49] <cuervo> yeah, I saw. you're a retard.
[15:16:53] <FlopSter> hahaha
[15:16:56] <FlopSter> you see my cawk :P
[15:17:18] <cuervo> no, her penis collection, contrary to popular belief, is not my start page.

[14:04:22] <goldfish> YOU WILL BE IN MY HEART FOREVER
[14:04:29] <FlopSter> hahahaha
[14:04:31] <viss> s/heart/moron gallery/g
[14:04:38] <FlopSter> aye
[14:04:40] <FlopSter> in gallery :P
[14:04:42] <FlopSter> i see my cawk :P
[14:04:49] <viss> wonderful.
[14:05:31] <Leesuh> funny how writing each other's names on your genitals is like
[14:05:36] <Leesuh> the internet's friendship bracelet

Xirzec (11:55:29 PM): maybe one of the reasons I don't click as well with you
Xirzec (11:55:38 PM): is I like you too much as an equal to subjugate you ;p
biSEXual virgin (11:55:42 PM): haha
biSEXual virgin (11:55:43 PM): <33
Xirzec (11:56:20 PM): yes. double-heart
Xirzec (11:56:40 PM): four atriums of love
biSEXual virgin (11:57:11 PM): hehhehe
biSEXual virgin (11:57:13 PM): hahahahhahaha
biSEXual virgin (11:57:17 PM): that's awesome
Xirzec (11:57:43 PM): like a cumshot on big tits
biSEXual virgin (11:58:22 PM): way cooler
biSEXual virgin (11:58:27 PM): cumshots belong on the face
Xirzec (11:58:35 PM): haha <3

[11:59:12] <goldfish> man i saw this little kid at work the other day, probably 3 years old. it found a penny on the ground and was running around like LOOK HOW HAPPY I AM. i have never wanted to kill something so small so much. _that should have been my penny_
[11:59:27] <base_> ahaha you're so wrong
[11:59:44] <base_> was it just the money, or the innocent happiness?
[11:59:52] <goldfish> it was my fucking penny.
[11:59:59] <sev> "it" found a penny
[12:00:02] <base_> oh, word
[12:00:13] <datagram_> Hahaha
[12:00:15] <goldfish> any change in that building, is in my fucking territory
[12:00:34] <datagram_> goldfish, This one time at KFC this girl and who I assume was her dad came in, and she wasn't like a little kid she had to be at least 17 or so
[12:00:35] <sev> goldfish: i sleep with change on my sheets
[12:00:43] <sev> i wake up with pennies and quarters embeded into my skin
[12:00:52] <datagram_> And she kept asking her dad for change to get the sticker things from the vending machine
[12:00:56] <datagram_> and he kept telling her no
[12:00:56] <goldfish> sev thats erotic
[12:01:01] <datagram_> Until she was like come on come on come on
[12:01:10] <goldfish> did he backhand her?
[12:01:11] <sev> goldfish: see, my gf doesn't think so
[12:01:20] <datagram_> and so I got my changed and I threw it on the ground at her feet and told her to shut the fuck up
[12:01:20] <goldfish> sev: did you backhand her?
[12:01:28] <goldfish> hahahhahahaha datagram_ <33
[12:01:36] <goldfish> did she pick it up
[12:01:40] <sev> HAHAHAHA
[12:01:47] <datagram_> Like a hobo going for food, you bet your ass she did
[12:01:53] <goldfish> that's fucking awesome
[12:01:54] <goldfish> was she hot
[12:01:55] <sev> HAHAHAHA
[12:02:00] <base_> lol
[12:02:04] <datagram_> If she dropped like 20 lbs maybe
[12:02:11] <goldfish> fatties :(

[01:02:06] <rpenguin> fleshlights for all
[01:02:26] <primevil> you go piddle around with your plastic vagina.
[01:02:39] <primevil> I, for one, don't need to be privvy to the fact.
[01:02:39] <goldfish> i yearn for a plastic vagina
[01:02:41] <khmer> i want to put fleshlights in emergency kits
[01:02:44] <khmer> THE POWER'S OUT
[01:02:45] <goldfish> hahahhaha
[01:02:47] <goldfish> NICE
[01:02:48] <rpenguin> hahaha
[01:02:53] <rpenguin> TIME FOR MOCHABUTT
[01:03:17] <Aldiyen> ahahahaha man tha would be awesome
[01:03:29] <rpenguin> i like saying mocha butt a lot

[20:08:46] <goldfish> wow i just found an old pic of me
[20:08:53] <caffeine> show me.
[20:08:56] <TheDuke> goldfish, post it
[20:08:58] <goldfish> http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v25/goldfish/ivy.jpg
[20:09:02] <goldfish> before i lost the weight
[20:09:11] <TheDuke> you bitch
[20:09:17] <goldfish> don't call me that
[20:09:20] <goldfish> i'm not ugly anymore
[20:09:23] <caffeine> how much did you lose?
[20:09:30] <goldfish> 20lbs

swansonized: i had lost my key earlier
swansonized: i found it 20 minutes ago
swansonized: now i can't find it again
biSEXual virgin: you fail at life
swansonized: GDI
swansonized: i can't leave my room until I find it
swansonized: late last night i had gotten up to get some water
swansonized: put on a pair of shorts that were around
swansonized: and forgot to take my key out
swansonized: and had put it into laundry bin etc
biSEXual virgin: heh
swansonized: and when i found it
swansonized: i can't remember where I left it
swansonized: i'll never be emperor at this rate
biSEXual virgin: hahahhaha
biSEXual virgin: heart
swansonized: i'll lose the key to the virgin section of the castle
biSEXual virgin: hahahha
swansonized: OH MY GOD WHERE IS IT

[21:41:28] <lysol> asseating
[21:41:41] <tiaz> f
[21:42:13] <lysol> ffff
[21:42:21] <lysol> start chatting or something
[21:44:18] <noxic> dickpenis
[21:44:59] <tiaz> cockboats
[21:45:08] <lysol> vagina safaris
[21:46:04] <losthrizn> set sail for dick
[21:46:36] <nzc> dongs ahoy
[21:49:23] <losthrizn> keep your fork there's cock
[21:52:44] <losthrizn> DO I HAVE TO DRAW A MAP TO MY LAP
[21:53:12] <toastydea> perhaps
[21:54:14] <losthrizn> EXCUSE ME BUT MY BONER IS LOOSE
[21:54:34] <nzc> here let me get that for you
[21:55:23] <losthrizn> i can open a can of pringles with just my teeth and both hands and a can opener
[21:56:46] <lysol> WHAT IF I'M GAY

[18:34:54] <Viss> i have a funny story about that ;b
[18:34:59] <goldfish> oh really
[18:35:04] <Viss> back at my last job
[18:35:10] <Viss> i used to go to starbucks with these guys from around the area
[18:35:14] <Viss> theyd talk about all sorts of shit
[18:35:16] <Viss> one guy
[18:35:27] <Viss> says hes friends with this dude that works downtown at the gastro-intestinal clinic
[18:35:40] <Viss> the majority of their work is helping people recover things they lost in their asses.
[18:35:51] <Viss> the weirdest thing, he says that his friend ever encountered
[18:35:53] <Viss> was
[18:35:55] <Viss> these two gay guys
[18:35:56] <Viss> fisting
[18:36:10] <Viss> one guy was like.. .. he musta been up on the dinner table or something.. i dunno
[18:36:11] <Viss> like
[18:36:13] <Viss> on all fours
[18:36:20] <Viss> and the other dude was standing behind, almost elbow deep..
[18:36:24] <Viss> well the first guy falls.
[18:36:27] <Viss> somehow
[18:36:41] <Viss> and it snaps the second guys arm
[18:36:43] <goldfish> ...
[18:36:45] <goldfish> hahahhahah
[18:36:49] <Viss> the second guy gets a compound fracture.
[18:36:59] <Viss> so there is bone sticking out of his arm, and INTO the other guys intestinal track
[18:37:05] <Viss> it acts as a barb, so the guy cant exactly pull his arm out
[18:37:11] <goldfish> thats fucking awesome
[18:37:13] <goldfish> hahahhahahha
[18:37:13] <Viss> i could only imagine how bad it hurt the first guy
[18:37:14] <Viss> so
[18:37:16] <Viss> they had to call 911
[18:37:19] <Viss> and the emts show up
[18:37:22] <goldfish> pushmepullyou
[18:37:25] <Viss> one guys elbow deep in the other
[18:37:32] <Viss> blood all over the place
[18:37:37] <Viss> they had to OPEN up the first guy to get the second guy out
[18:37:41] <Viss> then fix the second guys arm.
[18:37:44] <Viss> fucking rad.
[18:37:45] <goldfish> oh man
[18:37:49] <Viss> best ass story ive ever heard.
[18:37:53] <Viss> there will never be one greater.
[18:37:54] <goldfish> i have to agree

(23:27:34) z0karma: I was in the shower, and I looked down, and I was like "yeah, okay, I can see why fish wants one of these"

biSEXual virgin: friend is complaining that i didnt call him when i was putting eggs in my vagina
biSEXual virgin: "oh youll do it for them but not for me. i see how it is. did they promise you ops or something"
MrBigglesPimp: hah
MrBigglesPimp: we just know how to treat a woman

[18:32:18] <goldfish> http://www.bmezine.com/tattoo/A60106/high/bmepb201827.jpg
[18:32:26] <goldfish> i hope he knocked that tooth out so he could bond with his daughter
[18:32:35] <base_> haha
[18:32:39] <base_> i bet
[18:32:54] <base_> knocked her tooth out right?
[18:33:02] <base_> cuz hes prolly been missin that one forever ;p
[18:33:07] <goldfish> hahhaha
[18:33:10] <goldfish> <3
[18:33:27] <base_> she'll thank him when she's older
[18:33:37] <goldfish> yeah
[18:33:41] <goldfish> it'll make her unique
[18:33:47] <goldfish> so she wont need to cut herself in highschool
[18:33:50] <goldfish> to feel special
[18:35:47] <base_> i dunno, we were never too nice to the toothless broad in school

[13:42:28] <goldfish> man i can already tell i hate people if all of their pictures are of them doing shit outside
[13:42:34] <goldfish> example http://www.okcupid.com/profile?tuid=8736869295857020226
[13:42:34] <Aldiyen> hahahaha
[13:43:09] <goldfish> i came to the internet to meet people who sit on the internet all day, not some asshole who goes online to check his email and then go back to rock climbing

7: so why do women complain all the time?
biSEXual virgin: why do you complain all the time
7: not the question
biSEXual virgin: but the answer is probably the same

z0karma (12:06:36 PM): see
z0karma (12:06:45 PM): I'm an atheist
z0karma (12:06:50 PM): so I don't really believe in the antichrist
z0karma (12:06:58 PM): but if I did
z0karma (12:07:05 PM): I'd imagine you're pretty close.
biSEXual virgin (12:07:07 PM): hahahahahha
z0karma (12:07:09 PM): :P
biSEXual virgin (12:07:12 PM): that's so flattering

[14:36:28] <goldfish> i need a submissive girl with no self esteem
[14:36:34] <goldfish> she'll do my dishes and i'll beat the shit out of her
[14:36:36] <goldfish> we'll be so happy
[14:39:28] <cuervo> haha, I can totally see you in a wifebeater
[14:39:43] <goldfish> haha
[14:39:48] <goldfish> sweet irony
[14:39:51] <goldfish> i'm actually wearing one
[14:40:07] <goldfish> and boxers
[14:40:12] <goldfish> WITH DICE ON THEM
[14:40:16] <goldfish> oh shit
[14:40:18] <goldfish> these arent dice
[14:40:21] <goldfish> theyre dominoes
[14:40:23] <goldfish> god thats gay
[14:40:30] <cuervo> hahaha
[14:40:46] <goldfish> i wish you hadnt made me notice that
[14:41:30] <goldfish> thats ok, the others from the set have dart boards and chess pieces on them
[14:41:31] <goldfish> I THINK
[14:43:12] <goldfish> hhahaha chess pieces and it says CHECK MATE all over them
[14:43:23] <goldfish> i should actually look at things before i buy them
[14:43:24] <cuervo> hahaha
[14:43:26] <goldfish> i fail at shopping
[14:43:42] <cuervo> pretty much, yeah :P
[14:43:46] <goldfish> and theyre like a size too big
[14:43:49] <goldfish> so if i arrange them just right
[14:43:55] <goldfish> it looks like i have a really big package
[14:44:02] <cuervo> hahahahaha
[14:44:03] <cuervo> you wish :P
[14:44:09] <goldfish> well yeah
[14:44:09] <goldfish> i do
[14:44:11] <goldfish> EVERY DAY
[14:50:11] <cuervo> penis transplant?
[14:50:54] <goldfish> it wouldnt work
[14:51:07] <goldfish> the blood vessels wouldnt line up
[14:51:21] <goldfish> even transplants like hands or fingers fail half the time
[14:51:40] <goldfish> cause the circulation isnt good enough and they just sorta rot off
[14:51:50] <goldfish> plus you have to take immune system suppressants for the rest of your life
[14:51:56] <goldfish> or else your body starts attacking the transplant
[14:52:01] <goldfish> since its not really part of your body
[14:59:01] <cuervo> I see you've researched this. :P
[14:59:18] <goldfish> well yeah

misterJojo19: hey calvin and i want to go see hostel
biSEXual virgin: that movie is fucking erotic
misterJojo19: hahahahahah i didnt know u had a thing for blood
misterJojo19: no wonder why you like your period
biSEXual virgin: i dont like blood
biSEXual virgin: i like violence
misterJojo19: excuses
biSEXual virgin: and sadism
biSEXual virgin: and hedonism
misterJojo19: i know, i just wanted to gross you out by making you think about urself masturbating while your taco cries blood
biSEXual virgin: haha
biSEXual virgin: ive done that
biSEXual virgin: and had sex during my period
biSEXual virgin: cause i dont care
misterJojo19: eeewww
misterJojo19: now you grossed me out
biSEXual virgin: i win again
biSEXual virgin: THAT IS WHAT YOU GET FOR TRYING TO GROSS ME OUT
biSEXual virgin: YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS
misterJojo19: hahahahaha u bitch
misterJojo19: hahahaahahahahhahaahahhaha]

[12:34:30] <davin> I could write it
[12:34:34] <davin> but I haven't done php in ages
[12:34:38] <davin> and it would take me too long
[12:35:11] <elend> davin: in other words you're just lazy :P
[12:35:19] <davin> io
[12:35:25] <davin> I know someone else alrady wrote it.
[12:35:28] <davin> Why should I do it again?
[12:35:42] <davin> I'm not gonna go build a fucking car.
[12:35:46] <davin> I'm going to steal one.

[16:59:47] <viss> so... cuervo says you're of the female persuasion
[16:59:57] <goldfish> he's a liar
[17:00:04] <viss> hahaha
[17:00:08] <goldfish> he just wants guys to hit on me cause i'm sort of homophobic
[17:00:14] <goldfish> and he thinks it'll make me uncomfortable
[17:01:18] <viss> hah
[17:01:18] <viss> well
[17:01:45] <viss> he sure does squeal about the cock a lot
[17:01:50] <goldfish> i think it's also wishful thinking on his part
[17:01:54] <goldfish> cause he wants my sweet ass
[17:01:58] <viss> ahahah
[17:02:03] <viss> I believe it

Xirzec (8:49:13 PM): [22:38] Xirzec: did get a neat book
[22:38] meg8angel88: cool beans
[22:38] meg8angel88: what is the book
[22:39] Xirzec: it's a collection of Poe
[22:40] meg8angel88: I have no idea what that is
[22:40] Xirzec: Edgar Allen Poe? never heard of him?
[22:40] meg8angel88: nope
[22:43] Xirzec: ...
[22:43] Xirzec: wrote The Raven ?
[22:44] meg8angel88: that sounds familiar
[22:46] Xirzec: oy
fishcanhurtppl (8:49:28 PM): ...
fishcanhurtppl (8:49:29 PM): jesus
Xirzec (8:49:34 PM): she was in my class too
fishcanhurtppl (8:49:35 PM): and you say i dont have standards

[02:50:43] <cuervo> fish, when you die, I want you to donate your brain to science.
[02:50:53] <goldfish> why
[02:51:05] <cuervo> so people can study it and name whatever it is you have.
[02:51:29] <cuervo> I call it "goldfish syndrome", but it's unofficial.
[02:51:40] <goldfish> haha
[02:51:45] <goldfish> i don't know what you're talking about

<Ayden> i left my bong out.
<Ayden> and this chick comes and cleans my house.
<Ayden> i think she changed the water

prot0n passes squall the pipe
Squall takes the pipe.
19:53:42 | Squall - Now what.:)
19:54:26 | prot0n - To the north are dark hills. East of you is a road. At your feet you see a blue colored Bic Lighter
19:55:01 | AngelofMusic - take the lighter
19:55:14 | prot0n - You pick up the lighter.
19:55:41 | AngelofMusic - lol
19:55:47 | Squall - Look down the road.
19:57:42 | prot0n - Seg Falt. Exiting

[12:07:30] <anarch> While I agree that you should have the right to burn an american flag if you so choose, but honestly, if you don't like it here, go somewhere else. Hell if you don't like California, leave... I did.
[12:08:05] <noid> heh, and when in those other 'better' countries, try burning their flag..see where it gets you
[12:08:13] <noid> america wont suddenly be such a bad place
[12:08:28] <anarch> I think you can burn a canadian flag... I don't think they care :P
[12:08:42] <noid> i think you're required to burn two a year

[12:36:50] <_Athnex_> sell the emo's razor blades?
[12:36:54] <_Athnex_> and make massive profit?
[12:37:03] <_Athnex_> tell em its medial grade, so they wont get infected?
[12:37:47] <sknet> how many would you like to purchase kind sir

7: why'd you screw around with me?
biSEXual virgin: cause i'm easy
7: no other reason?
biSEXual virgin: pretty much
7: ok
7: g'night
biSEXual virgin: nite

[01:08:58] <noxic> haha http://portland.craigslist.org/for/119166158.html
[01:12:06] <goldfish> Springy round ball of hand weaved wire and a hand sewn cusion in the middle; the project was to protect an egg inside it being dropped from about 10 feet up.
[01:12:08] <goldfish> how gay
[01:12:27] <goldfish> we did that in middle school with like a styrofoam cup and two sheets of paper
[01:19:02] <noxic> who the hell would want to buy that
[01:20:00] <toastydeath> a mother who lost her son in a tragic house fire and has nothing to remember him by seeking to purchase memories of others
[01:20:09] <toastydeath> perhaps.

biSEXual virgin (12:10:13 AM): i held a contest in my kitchen earlier
biSEXual virgin (12:10:18 AM): WHICH SOUP HAS BEEN EXPIRED THE LONGEST
biSEXual virgin (12:10:25 AM): beef&barley won with oct 2004

13:14:35 | goldfish - so hymn
13:14:38 | goldfish - nameonpenis
13:14:39 | goldfish - baby
13:14:42 | hymn - haha
13:14:42 | hymn - nah
13:14:45 | goldfish - why not
13:14:46 | hymn - i know u collect em
13:14:53 | Phoenix - lol
13:14:55 | goldfish - which should make you more eager to help me
13:14:59 | goldfish - hey phoenix
13:15:01 | hymn - nah
13:15:03 | goldfish - why not
13:15:04 | hymn - which makes me
13:15:06 | Phoenix - hi fishy
13:15:09 | hymn - a golden star
13:15:14 | hymn - in your galaxy
13:15:17 | hymn - of penises
13:15:19 | goldfish - do you want me to make you feel like a beautiful and unique snowflake first
13:15:21 | goldfish - would that help
13:15:26 | goldfish - hymn you light up my life
13:15:29 | goldfish - ive never met anybody like you
13:15:35 | hymn - i would like to destroy something beautiful
13:15:35 | goldfish - i think about you when i wake up
13:15:37 | Phoenix - lol
13:15:38 | goldfish - and when i go to sleep
13:15:44 | goldfish - youre like a dream come true
13:15:48 | goldfish - youre a good person
13:15:51 | goldfish - youre too good for me
13:15:55 | hymn - omgstfuplzdieokbye
13:15:57 | goldfish - ok
13:16:01 | goldfish - can you write my name on your dick now
13:16:06 | hymn - nah
13:16:09 | hymn - still not good enough
13:16:11 | goldfish - if that doesnt do it for you, then you're not worth it

[23:22:19] <ty> you're not going to do it
[23:22:22] <ty> because you're a woman like fish
[23:22:29] <ty> double diss because neither of you are weomen LOL

biSEXual virgin: i just measured my neck with a usb cable and a piece of notebook paper
biSEXual virgin: i'm so awesome
swansonized: ....
swansonized: can i hang you now?
biSEXual virgin: i'm so resourceful
swansonized: see, you soak the rope in water
swansonized: and hang a weight equivilent to the person
swansonized: then put the knot under their right ear
swansonized: and it should snap their neck almost every time

[11:20:30] <bigdog> it will not work
[11:44:39] <bigdog> damn it won't work
[11:45:10] <bigdog> shit it won't work
[12:02:42] <goldfish> are you trying to suck your own dick again?

[22:01:26] <datagram_> I pay a small child to hold a piece of paper and flap it at my CPU
[22:01:35] <mofo_> lol
[22:01:45] <base_> haha
[22:01:53] <mofo_> i got a few blowing air at mine with straws
[22:02:26] <base_> train monkeys, it's easier
[22:02:29] <mofo_> lol
[22:02:36] <datagram_> Monkeys give worse head
[22:02:47] <iceblaze-> datagram_ knows from first experience
[22:03:01] <datagram_> iceblaze-, I dont want to be 70 years old and not know
[22:03:10] <datagram_> "What was the look on the monkeys face???"

[02:07:02] <ty> what does a male orgasm feel like
[02:07:27] <.con> it's like a female orgasm
[02:07:29] <.con> except it's real

[12:46:58] <goldfish> i need a girlfriend. i'm sick of doing dishes
[12:47:01] <goldfish> that's bitch detail
[12:47:25] <jcpham> no thanks
[12:47:29] <jcpham> i'm spoken for
[12:47:46] <goldfish> thats ok, you can do my dishes anyway
[12:47:47] <goldfish> baby.
[12:47:56] <goldfish> it can be our little secret
[12:48:18] <jcpham> you can suck my cock
[12:48:26] <goldfish> sure i guess
[12:48:28] <jcpham> i will tell everyone
[12:48:36] <goldfish> you can take pictures if it'll get my dishes done

[05:42:20] <Neep> I just had a dream in which I had cybersex with goldfish
[05:42:50] <DrRabid> did she have pics?
[05:43:08] <Neep> yes
[05:43:23] <DrRabid> hot
[05:43:26] <Veen> hahahah
[05:43:27] <Veen> rad
[05:43:36] <Veen> Did you upload them to webspace that I can visit?
[05:44:11] <Neep> no, I kept them to myself
[05:45:15] <Veen> asshole

[13:11:01] <goldfish> i jsut bought an expired pie from albertsons for a dollar
[13:11:06] <goldfish> being a jew is going to be the death of me
[13:11:11] <goldfish> expired food or the crucifix
[13:11:42] <xinc> As long as you boil it for 30 minutes first, it should be sanitary.

[08:32:44] <MrEcho> new xchat out
[08:32:54] * datagram_ puts on not caring hat
[08:33:20] <MrEcho> shouldnt you be sleeping
[08:37:46] <datagram_> Shouldn't you be dropping

[20:00:15] <cocktumor> im generous with files
[20:00:20] <bluefish> among other things

[19:02:11] <sknet> the guy at 7-11 asked me what my background was, then he gave a discount on smokes and said "see you next time my brother!!"
[19:02:22] <goldfish> what did you tell him
[19:02:34] <sknet> just where my parents were from and stuff
[19:02:51] <sknet> my darkie brothers keep it real like that
[19:06:02] <goldfish> i need some darkie brothers to give me discounts
[19:06:05] <goldfish> how much was the discount
[19:06:11] <goldfish> my jew brothers just want to overcharge me
[19:06:17] <sknet> lol
[19:06:34] <sknet> instead of being like 5-something for a pack of smokes and coffee it was just 3 bucks
[19:06:58] <sknet> only 2 bucks, but word
[19:07:04] <goldfish> wtf only two bucks
[19:07:08] <goldfish> shut up with your "only"
[19:07:14] <sknet> :(
[19:07:19] <goldfish> mmm two bucks
[19:07:20] <goldfish> <3
[19:07:28] * sknet burns a dollar

[10:20:43] <xinc> We should write goth poetry. That makes everything better.
[10:20:49] <Accident> hahaha
[10:24:26] <xinc> Oh, how my soul weaps / tears of blood, eternal night / Hot Topic closed early

[23:03:43] <Aldiyen> would you bang a girl with a pegleg?
[23:04:15] <goldfish> probably
[23:04:22] <Aldiyen> I think I would
[23:04:23] <goldfish> but only if she had a parrot
[23:04:25] <goldfish> and said arrr
[23:04:32] <Aldiyen> hahahaha
[23:04:38] <Aldiyen> I'd settle for just the arr
[23:04:42] <homobilez> you could probably fix a dildo to the stump instead of a pegleg
[23:04:50] <toastydeath> aldiyen
[23:04:52] <goldfish> fucking right you can
[23:04:58] <toastydeath> the critical part of most "would you bang ________
[23:05:04] <toastydeath> is how hot is she?
[23:05:08] <nzc> toastydeath no
[23:05:14] <Aldiyen> assuming she's reasonably hot otherwise
[23:05:15] <nzc> its does she have a good personality
[23:05:17] <goldfish> no you have to bang them for their deformity alone
[23:05:21] <goldfish> regardless of hotness
[23:05:25] * nzc was kicked by Aldiyen (that's not even funny)
[23:05:25] * nzc has joined #plainsofhotha
[23:05:26] * ChanServ sets mode: +o nzc
[23:05:29] <nzc> hahahahaa
[23:05:29] <goldfish> hahaha
[23:05:30] <toastydeath> goldfish you are the biggest pervert i know
[23:05:30] <homobilez> the critical part is "how little self-esteem does she have"
[23:05:43] <goldfish> haha toasty coming from you, that's so great
[23:05:45] <goldfish> <33
[23:05:47] <toastydeath> and i wish i could fist you
[23:05:49] <toastydeath> hahaha
[23:05:50] <toastydeath> <3
[23:06:06] <toastydeath> (because rouges do it from behind)
[23:06:21] <homobilez> omg WoW burn

[16:40:53] <nzc> guys i have a lol for you
[16:41:18] <nzc> i put a hole in the tissue
[16:42:14] <toastydeath> hahaha
[16:42:22] <toastydeath> longrifleman nzc
[16:53:24] <noxic> haha
[16:59:01] <Veen> THis is why I hate beating it
[16:59:04] <Veen> I can never catch the stuff
[16:59:23] <Veen> I tried using the sock method, but it just ends up coming out the toe as a sticky cum mess
[16:59:40] <Veen> Then I tried just getting a towel
[16:59:59] <Veen> But inevitably, I always end up losing it, and finding it like two months later going, "OH, what's this towel here fOH GOD!"

[21:11:24] <toastydeath> i just took pics of laura sucking me off
[21:11:29] <toastydeath> and then me blowing on her face
[21:11:46] <toastydeath> AND YOU ALL DON'T GET THEM
[21:11:46] <toastydeath> HA HA HA
[21:12:47] <toastydeath> goldfish do you hear me
[21:17:50] <goldfish> why are you so mean to me

[21:01:38] <toastydeath> who is teth
[21:15:25] <Teth> a boy who imagines his life instead of living it
[21:16:36] <toastydeath> i'm a boy who bans people instead of talking to them
[21:16:44] <toastydeath> be funnier next time

12:25:14 | kino - seeing these fat 20 year old whores with kids on craigslist
12:25:22 | kino - is like 1000x condoms in one

biSEXual virgin: i'd say it's a uhh not a plus, not a value.. can't think of the word
biSEXual virgin: means good quality
biSEXual virgin: i'd say it's a good quality
biSEXual virgin: trait maybe
Xirzec: virtue?
biSEXual virgin: THATS THE ONE
biSEXual virgin: youre so helpful
Xirzec: you may suck my cock now

lookctgison: that was awkward
lookctgison: i ran in on ben getting out of the shower
lookctgison: nub forgot to lock the door
biSEXual virgin: was it big?
lookctgison: I didn't Look!
biSEXual virgin: hahahha
biSEXual virgin: you might have seen by accident
biSEXual virgin: i won't judge
biSEXual virgin: tell me!
lookctgison: he had his towel up
lookctgison: for your info
biSEXual virgin: damn it...

abrasivemike: everytime you think of me
abrasivemike: do you touch yourself?
biSEXual virgin: ew
biSEXual virgin: i never touch myself
biSEXual virgin: that's morally objectionable
abrasivemike: consider it a sign of my love
abrasivemike: that i don't kill you for saying that

matkam: fish, i forgot what you look like
matkam: when i try to recall your face, all i see is titties

biSEXual virgin (4:52:14 AM): i can't see half of your face
biSEXual virgin (4:52:30 AM): fix it
biSEXual virgin (4:52:32 AM): ty
abrasivemike (4:52:37 AM): anything for fish
biSEXual virgin (4:52:57 AM): hehe
biSEXual virgin (4:52:58 AM): pansy
abrasivemike (4:53:20 AM): <3
abrasivemike (4:53:33 AM): i'm only submissive 'cuz i'm trying to get into your pants
biSEXual virgin (4:54:04 AM): haha
biSEXual virgin (4:54:09 AM): that's not the way to get into my pants

17:27:28 | goldfish - time for shower
17:27:46 | mellie - take the cam! :-)
17:28:50 | goldfish - hehe
17:29:51 | prot0n - i bet she would if she could carry her industrial vibrator with only 1 hand

lookctgison: do you own dirty rotten scoundrels?
biSEXual virgin: yes, i keep them under my bed. they pleasure me in my sleep
lookctgison: no the movie

BurstofSunflower (10:02:09 PM): fish i was going to say you were right, but you'd get too much pleasure out of it.
BurstofSunflower (10:02:17 PM): so instead i told my mother you were right.

biSEXual virgin: some bitch made the mistake of asking my biggest sexual fantasy
biSEXual virgin: i said rape
biSEXual virgin: haha
FetusHead9: wow
FetusHead9: nice
FetusHead9: what was their reaction?
biSEXual virgin: most laughed. a really nervous laugh.
biSEXual virgin: some were like wth
FetusHead9: i would of jumped up and yelled. "YOU'RE MINE BITCH"

biSEXual virgin (5:18:30 PM): have you ever had a chick puke on your dick
rudeuglyguy (5:19:21 PM): nope
rudeuglyguy (5:19:27 PM): women around here are boring

HUMMERtheDRUNK: next time i see YOU im gonna ducktape your hands behind your back
HUMMERtheDRUNK: and FACE FUCK YOU
HUMMERtheDRUNK: every HOLE on your FACE
HUMMERtheDRUNK: will be FUCKED
biSEXual virgin: oh no! not my virgin ears
HUMMERtheDRUNK: PRISON STYLE

biSEXual virgin: have you heard about some plague that's spreading in the cities?
biSEXual virgin: irc was talking about it
abrasivemike: in wow, or irl?
biSEXual virgin: haha in wow
biSEXual virgin: hahhaha
abrasivemike: ah
abrasivemike: no

swansonized (7:07:33 PM): you're a pimp
swansonized (7:07:47 PM): like twenty rolled into one
biSEXual virgin (7:07:54 PM): fuck yea
swansonized (7:08:01 PM): that's why you have big tits
swansonized (7:08:06 PM): so much condensed pimpness

biSEXual virgin: i want ice cream
burntoutshadows: hahaha
burntoutshadows: i got ice cream baby
burntoutshadows: *unzips pants*
biSEXual virgin: hehe
burntoutshadows: blah that's such a lie
burntoutshadows: i'm so not wearing pants
biSEXual virgin: hahahahhaha
biSEXual virgin: me either

biSEXual virgin: why would you want a nonlingering pain?
Lord Dooooom: ::Shrug::
Lord Dooooom: Switch things up?
biSEXual virgin: nonsense
Lord Dooooom: And if I'm not there to enjoy her pain, what's the point of it being there?
biSEXual virgin: she enjoys it and every time it hurts, she'll think of you
biSEXual virgin: leave a lasting impression
Lord Dooooom: I love you Fish. XD

biSEXual virgin (7:32:40 PM): i tried to meet most of the locals on okcupid
Hybrid Syndrome (7:32:47 PM): i gave up on okcupid
biSEXual virgin (7:32:54 PM): it worked for me
Hybrid Syndrome (7:32:55 PM): too many uppity people in NYC on these places
Hybrid Syndrome (7:32:59 PM): all hipsters
biSEXual virgin (7:33:03 PM): haha
Hybrid Syndrome (7:33:03 PM): almost no one i like
biSEXual virgin (7:33:15 PM): i didnt like most of them
biSEXual virgin (7:33:20 PM): i just wanted someone to validate me
biSEXual virgin (7:33:22 PM): with their penis

[20:05:50] noxic> im going to strip almost naked for goldfish

TRINKLEST: what's the word for people that fuck dead people?
biSEXual virgin: necrophiliacs
biSEXual virgin: how did u know i would know?
TRINKLEST: i wasn't sure
TRINKLEST: but you talk about sex
TRINKLEST: and weird stuff
TRINKLEST: i figured you should know THIS

abrasivemike: i'm gunna kidnap you, and keep you in my closet
biSEXual virgin: i could live with that
abrasivemike: you'd have to
abrasivemike: i'm bigger than you are

biSEXual virgin: locksmith charges extra on weekends
swansonized: stfu
biSEXual virgin: im serious
biSEXual virgin: i didnt wana pay overtime
biSEXual virgin: fuck that
swansonized: ...
swansonized: so you stayed handcuffed to his bedpost for 3 days?
biSEXual virgin: yeh

Xirzec: you really are a lot of boob
biSEXual virgin: did you doubt?
Xirzec: well
Xirzec: much as the grand canyon does not seem so vast until you look upon it yourself

swansonized (11:53:46 PM): you don't fuck with animals that are 8-10 feet tall
swansonized (11:53:53 PM): unless it's a giraffe

abrasivemike: can i tell you a secret
biSEXual virgin: no
abrasivemike: okay
abrasivemike: i'm gay
biSEXual virgin: i thought you were telling me a secret

swansonized: no gays be touchin me
swansonized: i'll bring a chainsaw
biSEXual virgin: dude they're gay, not zombies
swansonized: haha
swansonized: yea but
swansonized: to cut off their dicks as they try to harass
swansonized: noob

lookctgison: it's not that funny
biSEXual virgin: that's why i said hehe instead of hahahhahahha

abrasivemike (2:00:19 PM): they asked me at work, what i was gunna do for father's day
abrasivemike (2:00:28 PM): i said "i'm gunna have a kid"

biSEXual virgin: girls can not take jokes about themselves
swansonized: only fish can
swansonized: because she's half man
swansonized: half beast
swansonized: ^_^
swansonized: and like 1% breasts
swansonized: well
swansonized: more like 20%

abrasivemike: when i went to lunch today
abrasivemike: i only ate some of my food
abrasivemike: i put the rest in the back seat
abrasivemike: so the ants wouldn't get it
abrasivemike: but they got to it
abrasivemike: but only the edges
abrasivemike: so when i got home
abrasivemike: it was a race to see who could eat the food the fastest
abrasivemike: i won
abrasivemike: i left the scraps for the ants
abrasivemike: and in the morning i'll leave them some dead companions in the toilet

biSEXual virgin: i really hurt my shoulder and wrist last night trying to lick my elbow
biSEXual virgin: it still hurts
Trunksblade13: dude... people aren't built that way
Trunksblade13: only asians can do that shit
Trunksblade13: and only asians should.

[23:31:02] * Sirukin sticks his penis in your ear
[23:31:16] goldfish: left or right?
[23:31:37] Sirukin: left
[23:31:42] goldfish: damn
[23:31:44] goldfish: that's my virgin ear
[23:31:50] Sirukin: hahaha

Devilsmurf1977au (9:45:16 AM): because 4 hrs ago i offered u money to fuck a dog
Devilsmurf1977au (9:45:19 AM): now....i know u somewhat
biSEXual virgin (9:45:20 AM): hahahha
Devilsmurf1977au (9:45:26 AM): i feel.....shy *blushing *

I am but a Moose: i think i just came in my pants a little
biSEXual virgin: good job
biSEXual virgin: pay me now

burntoutshadows (7:12:20 PM): hey what was that username for your other account?
burntoutshadows (7:12:29 PM): the one with the pictures of you that i wanted to beat it to?
burntoutshadows (7:12:39 PM): .. that's not why i want it

biSEXual virgin (5:18:11 AM): if he did get married, he would know better than to come back here
biSEXual virgin (5:18:14 AM): cause i'd kill him
lookctgison (5:18:21 AM): hahaha
lookctgison (5:18:29 AM): true that.
biSEXual virgin (5:18:36 AM): yeh
lookctgison (5:18:46 AM): and i'd watch and laugh, and then console his widow
biSEXual virgin (5:19:01 AM): yea
biSEXual virgin (5:19:03 AM): she's hot
lookctgison (5:19:09 AM): fish we're really bad people

[11:49:12] <bluefish> i just got back from a job interview
[11:49:17] <bluefish> it was fun
[11:49:19] <sev> pimps do that these days?
[11:49:28] <bluefish> wanted to test the merchandise
[11:49:41] <sev> bluefish++
[11:49:47] <bluefish> that's right baby

[17:50:55] <viri> fish is the first girl to see my penis

[03:24:19] <ShuaDaddy> Baby, if you were any more beautiful....
[03:24:30] <ShuaDaddy> I wouldn't be dumping you right now

<+viri> My fake plants died because I did not pretend water them.

[13:40:01] <elend-> contrary to popular belief, I don't walk up to a girl that I think is cute and drop my pants
[13:40:12] <_Slayer_> I do
[13:40:14] <_Slayer_> and they run away

[20:09:03] <goldfish> i wish i had a girlfriend
[20:09:07] <goldfish> so that i could tell her she was fat
[20:11:58] <noxic> i want to be your girlfriend
[20:12:07] <goldfish> fatty <3

swansonized: you'd think people who base their lives off of a book (the bible) would have some better fucking reading comprehension

swansonized: jewaholic
biSEXual virgin: hehehe
swansonized: the three jews
swansonized: the jew and i
swansonized: king jew
biSEXual virgin: i r teh jew king
swansonized: beauty and the jew
biSEXual virgin: hehehehhe
swansonized: jew club
biSEXual virgin: hhhehehheheh
biSEXual virgin: slc jew
swansonized: american jew
biSEXual virgin: scar jew
swansonized: the jew of baghdad
biSEXual virgin: hehehe
swansonized: that one actually fits the real title ^_^
biSEXual virgin: true
biSEXual virgin: ehehehe
swansonized: die jew
swansonized: haha
biSEXual virgin: lol
swansonized: the jewfather
biSEXual virgin: nice
swansonized: grumpy old jews
swansonized: jewface
biSEXual virgin: jews of the caribbean
swansonized: nice
biSEXual virgin: hehehe
biSEXual virgin: jewfantasy
biSEXual virgin: moulin jew
biSEXual virgin: requiem for a jew
biSEXual virgin: jew's advocate
biSEXual virgin: death becomes jew
biSEXual virgin: dead jews
biSEXual virgin: jew pi
biSEXual virgin: hehehe
swansonized: jew report
biSEXual virgin: jew identity
biSEXual virgin: driving miss jew
biSEXual virgin: hot jew
biSEXual virgin: edward jewhands
biSEXual virgin: till jew voices wake us
biSEXual virgin: a jew called wanda
biSEXual virgin: training jew
swansonized: nice
biSEXual virgin: american jew x
swansonized: passenger jew
biSEXual virgin: jersey jew
swansonized: jew world
biSEXual virgin: jew fever
biSEXual virgin: hehehehhehe
swansonized: jew dancing
biSEXual virgin: city by the jew
swansonized: jew hard with a vengeance
biSEXual virgin: jew now
biSEXual virgin: one flew over the jew's nest
swansonized: jew another day
biSEXual virgin: hehehhehe
biSEXual virgin: driving miss jew
biSEXual virgin: stand by jew
swansonized: lost in jew
biSEXual virgin: jew vs jew
biSEXual virgin: jew space
swansonized: jew combat
biSEXual virgin: jewspotting
swansonized: jewmageddon
swansonized: invasion of the jews
biSEXual virgin: jewtrap
swansonized: the jew and i
biSEXual virgin: interview with a jew
swansonized: the jew killers
biSEXual virgin: silence of the jews
biSEXual virgin: hahahhahaha
biSEXual virgin: the italian jew
swansonized: the desert jew
swansonized: nice
swansonized: the passion of the jew
biSEXual virgin: better jew tomaroow
biSEXual virgin: xjew
biSEXual virgin: jewfish
swansonized: xjew 2, jews united
biSEXual virgin: dr jewlove
swansonized: jewheart
biSEXual virgin: fear and jewing in las vegas
biSEXual virgin: its a wonderful jew
biSEXual virgin: the bad jew
swansonized: jews
biSEXual virgin: jew, interrupted
biSEXual virgin: pump up the jew
biSEXual virgin: ninth jew
swansonized: conan the jew
biSEXual virgin: jackie jew
biSEXual virgin: twelfth jew
biSEXual virgin: robin hood: jew in tights
biSEXual virgin: welcome to the jewhouse
biSEXual virgin: dangerous lives of jew boys
biSEXual virgin: the jewboy
biSEXual virgin: the jew singer
biSEXual virgin: rocky horror jew show
biSEXual virgin: reservior jews
biSEXual virgin: the jewsider
biSEXual virgin: all about jew
biSEXual virgin: jew anything
biSEXual virgin: jew got fingered
biSEXual virgin: freddy for jewed
biSEXual virgin: cook hand jew
biSEXual virgin: dirty jew
biSEXual virgin: jew impact
biSEXual virgin: jewz in da hood
biSEXual virgin: jewing las vegas
biSEXual virgin: jewhog day
biSEXual virgin: jew life
biSEXual virgin: rules of jewtraction
biSEXual virgin: one hour jew
biSEXual virgin: lost jews
biSEXual virgin: punch drunk jew
biSEXual virgin: way of the jew
biSEXual virgin: meet the jews
biSEXual virgin: the jew hunt
biSEXual virgin: hahahahhaha
swansonized: damn
biSEXual virgin: jewbooth
swansonized: jew the dog
biSEXual virgin: ARMY OF JEWS
swansonized: the jew of the rings
biSEXual virgin: HEHEHE
biSEXual virgin: the jew point
swansonized: night of the living jews
swansonized: dawn of the jews
swansonized: walking jew
biSEXual virgin: jew times at ridgemont high
biSEXual virgin: jew goldmine
biSEXual virgin: pieces of jew
swansonized: jewrats
biSEXual virgin: jew man
swansonized: jew vacation
biSEXual virgin: last temptation of jew
biSEXual virgin: untamed jew
biSEXual virgin: murder by jew
biSEXual virgin: the replacement jews
swansonized: the unjewables
swansonized: haha
biSEXual virgin: hehehe
swansonized: jew must die
biSEXual virgin: last jew
biSEXual virgin: jewed
swansonized: band of jews
swansonized: jewing private ryan
biSEXual virgin: jew drive
swansonized: indiana jones and the temple of jews
biSEXual virgin: frankenjew
biSEXual virgin: jew psycho
biSEXual virgin: jewstreet
swansonized: indiana jones and the last pogrom
biSEXual virgin: what jews may come
biSEXual virgin: my left jew
biSEXual virgin: the killing jews
swansonized: the seajew
biSEXual virgin: jew in the grass
swansonized: moby jew
biSEXual virgin: jew life
swansonized: twelve angry jews
biSEXual virgin: party jew
swansonized: can't hardly jew
biSEXual virgin: jew act
swansonized: harry potter and the chamber of jews
swansonized: harry potter and the jews stone
biSEXual virgin: hehhehe
swansonized: enough
swansonized: quote time
biSEXual virgin: im just saving the whole thng

swansonized (10:40:41 PM): wtf
swansonized (10:40:46 PM): australia not only has the most dangerous spider
swansonized (10:40:49 PM): but the most dangerous snake
swansonized (10:40:57 PM): 100% mortality rate without anti venom
biSEXual virgin (10:41:05 PM): hahahha
swansonized (10:41:08 PM): but like
swansonized (10:41:10 PM): it never kills ppl
swansonized (10:41:14 PM): cause there are very few and no one lives there
biSEXual virgin (10:41:16 PM): are you reading national geographic or something
swansonized (10:41:26 PM): googling for most dangerous ___
swansonized (10:41:36 PM): so i can find out where i'm never travelling
biSEXual virgin (10:41:36 PM): nice
swansonized (10:41:37 PM): hehe
swansonized (10:41:47 PM): fuck australia
swansonized (11:01:22 PM): south america and australia aren't on my travel lists
swansonized (11:01:24 PM): cept maybe peru
biSEXual virgin (11:02:15 PM): heh
swansonized (11:02:24 PM): i hate insects
swansonized (11:02:26 PM): and snakes
swansonized (11:02:36 PM): and scorpions and spiders and anything that will touch or bite me
swansonized (11:02:45 PM): unless they have big tits
biSEXual virgin (11:03:12 PM): hahaha
biSEXual virgin (11:03:14 PM): excellent
swansonized (11:03:30 PM): but not if they are named fish
swansonized (11:03:51 PM): your tits won't save you
swansonized (11:03:55 PM): hehehe
biSEXual virgin (11:03:59 PM): hahahha

[02:15:25] <cuervo> I have a detachable penis.
[02:15:28] <cuervo> man, I need to get that song.
[02:15:35] <goldfish> king missile
[02:15:37] <cuervo> detachable peeeeenis.
[02:15:41] <cuervo> is that the band?
[02:15:43] <goldfish> si
[02:15:47] <cuervo> been forever since I heard that.
[02:15:55] * cuervo digs for the gtk-gnutella window.
[02:15:57] <goldfish> i woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again
[02:16:00] <goldfish> this happens all the time
[02:16:04] <goldfish> it's detachable
[02:16:11] <cuervo> holy shit, you know the lyrics.
[02:16:12] * cuervo sets mode: +o goldfish
[02:16:14] * cuervo sets mode: +o goldfish
[02:16:14] * cuervo sets mode: +o goldfish

[02:08:08] <goldfish> http://i.i.com.com/cnwk.1d/i/ne/p/2005/041905firefox_400x490.jpg
[02:08:29] <cuervo> heh
[02:08:41] <cuervo> if they sold firefox condoms, I'd have a lifetime supply.
[02:08:45] <cuervo> (like, 10.)

[17:24:33] <Ayden> does goldfish get ops?
[17:24:47] <slack> goldfish does.
[17:24:53] <slack> i never understood it, either.
[17:24:59] <slack> who is goldfish, even?!
[17:25:10] <Ayden> this lesbian chick that never talks.
[17:25:15] <Ayden> and that's why i love her.
[17:25:27] <Ayden> and when she does, it's always some witty comment.

[08:31:43] <kurced> theres a potential hazard with the sidekicks
[08:31:59] <kurced> the magnet in the speaker on the back has potentially bad joojoo
[08:32:58] <Strom_TM> potentially bad joojoo?
[08:33:05] <Strom_TM> i.e. dont stick it next to floppies?
[08:33:33] <kurced> basically dont stick it near anything that can be damaged by magnets
[08:34:20] <kurced> i noticed that it picked up a safety pin and a screw that were laying on my desk
[08:35:19] <surekill> maybe its haunted

biSEXual virgin (5:18:30 PM): have you ever had a chick puke on your dick
rudeuglyguy (5:19:21 PM): nope
rudeuglyguy (5:19:27 PM): women around here are boring

[00:04:43] <surekill> ive concluded i need an infinite amount of money, so i can go on a big adventure around the world in a hot air baloon

[17:14:28] * stray changes topic to 'goldfish for pope'

[12:38:41] <surekill> so is mr clean a genie, or a magical janitor

[06:44:02] <s1c> Power Rangers is on!
[06:44:06] <s1c> Imma go watch!
[07:11:43] <surekill> the original ones visited the place i used to take karate at
[07:12:01] <surekill> mmmmmmm amy jo johnson
[07:12:06] <kurced> mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
[07:12:30] <surekill> id put my megazoid all over her pink suit
[07:13:34] <surekill> i bet those putties would get beat up, then go home and beat off to her, and then goldar and the other dude would be like, wtf?! and then rita would be watching theputties beat off through her telescope
[07:14:00] <kurced> hahahahahaaaaahaaaahhhhhhaaahhaaahahaha
[07:14:38] <surekill> oh shit dude, didnt they make some weird sound like "puttyputtyputtyputty!", yeah theyd make that sound when doing it too
[07:14:48] <kurced> bahahaha
[07:15:00] <surekill> haha
[07:15:36] <surekill> aight time to go to class and have those images in my head, cyas around

[21:38:21] <surekill> something thats amazing is no matter how drunk a geek gets, they can still type better than the average aol user

00:08:51 | goldfish - someone tell me i'm cute please
00:09:02 ¦ Erin - oh fish you're so cute!
00:09:03 ¦ wulf - damn near irresistable
00:09:04 ¦ Erin - <33333
00:09:05 | goldfish - haha suckers

[02:38:54] <prot0n> irl is best in very small doses

[12:31:36] <surekill> when you draw stuff with a sharpie marker, i dunno if its being creative or stoned off the vapors

[12:00:13] <surekill> someone should make a website of hot chicks giving blowjobs to handguns
[12:00:21] <surekill> thats hot when a chick has a gun in her mouth
[12:01:56] <goldfish> haha
[12:04:16] <surekill> you have your irc client set to beep when someone says "blowjob"?
[12:04:21] <goldfish> yes :)
[12:04:31] <goldfish> pays off every time

[22:51:01] <goldfish> :D
[22:51:50] <sev> when goldfish :D's, i get this picture of the deamons Spawn fights

[11:18:07] * pegasus changes topic to 'pimpninjas.org - <goldfish> everyone is crying and i was just sitting there thinking "terrorists win"'

[01:11:46] <s1c> I have a short attention span
[01:11:49] <goldfish> hmm
[01:11:50] <s1c> Ohhh shinny
[01:11:56] <goldfish> shiny.
[01:12:32] <s1c> Your words of correction mean nothing as I have found a pieace of tin foil

01:21:34 | prot0n - this dog wants my cock
01:21:46 | goldfish - well don't deny it any longer
01:21:47 | goldfish - go go go
01:21:54 | prot0n - such a goldfish response
01:21:57 | prot0n - s'like clockwork
01:21:57 | goldfish - haha
01:22:02 | goldfish - i know

[11:33:03] * Koolfild has joined #okcupid
[11:33:09] <Koolfild> you're my bitch, right
[11:33:38] <nulpointe> hang on let me check my calendar
[11:34:39] <nulpointe> I have a thing in here for "ban koolafield" at noon
[11:34:42] <nulpointe> are you him
[11:35:46] <Koolfild> shut it ass monkey
[11:35:50] <Koolfild> i'm outta here
[11:36:16] <nulpointe> come back at noon pls

[01:49:44] <surekill> i was gonna head to cocoua but then i couldnt stop shitting

[09:59:53] * mofo_ has joined #watch
[10:00:22] * pegasus sets mode: +v mofo_
[10:00:22] <mofo_> &#8226; Thanks for the +v &#8226;
[10:00:26] <pegasus> dude
[10:00:38] <pegasus> i'm going to strangle your script to death with my bare hands
[10:01:58] <mofo_> its just polite
[10:02:03] <mofo_> saying thank you
[10:02:18] <mofo_> set mode +C
[10:02:23] <mofo_> so no color can be displayed
[10:03:03] <pegasus> set mode +b
[10:03:23] <pegasus> and i don't have to put up with your script
[10:03:32] <mofo_> LOL
[10:03:34] * mofo_ was kicked by SisMary (no lol.)
[10:03:34] * mofo_ has joined #watch
[10:04:51] <pegasus> hey, that works too

[18:15:00] <goldfish> totally unmotivated
[18:15:07] <pegasus> really?
[18:15:13] <pegasus> fish? unmotivated?
[18:15:20] <sev> fish is totally unmotivated
[18:15:25] <goldfish> hush
[18:15:30] <goldfish> i'm the little fucking engine that could
[18:15:30] <pegasus> hahahah
[18:15:37] <sev> hahaha
[18:15:39] <pegasus> HAHAHAHAH
[18:15:56] <pegasus> that's funny five different ways
[18:16:01] <goldfish> i know :)

[11:09:41] <puldis> but i know slang
[11:09:46] <puldis> somewhat..
[11:09:51] <goldfish> you should use it more often
[11:09:54] <goldfish> :)
[11:10:17] <goldfish> slowly you'll forget how to speak proper english and then you'll be like a native english speaker
[11:10:24] <puldis> haha
[11:10:37] <puldis> i'd like to speak proper english
[11:10:40] <puldis> bitch
[11:10:46] <Afbc0m> better
[11:10:46] <toastydeath> seriously you get made fun of for speaking properly
[11:10:48] <Afbc0m> now say slut
[11:10:50] <goldfish> <3 puldis
[11:10:57] <Afbc0m> CALL HER A SLUT
[11:10:59] <Afbc0m> MUAHAHAHA
[11:11:07] <puldis> "slut"?
[11:11:11] <Afbc0m> good man
[11:11:13] <goldfish> hehehe
[11:11:22] <toastydeath> puldis: a sexually promiscuous woman
[11:11:31] <puldis> yes i know this
[11:11:33] <Afbc0m> she has sex with everyone
[11:11:36] <Afbc0m> FOR FREE
[11:11:37] <toastydeath> O RLY
[11:11:38] <Afbc0m> ME NEXT
[11:11:40] <puldis> ho
[11:11:41] <goldfish> glad i could be an example
[11:11:58] <toastydeath> fish is an excellent example
[11:12:06] <toastydeath> of everything american women should be
[11:12:10] <toastydeath> LOOSE AND INTELLIGENT

biSEXual virgin: i should go in and say ur the dad
biSEXual virgin: u cant deny it
swansonized: lol
swansonized: sure i can
biSEXual virgin: u can try
swansonized: get a blood test on it
biSEXual virgin: im very convincing tho
swansonized: no
biSEXual virgin: yes i am
swansonized: i'd sue you!
swansonized: for emotional trauma
biSEXual virgin: id convince the judge
biSEXual virgin: cuz im so fucking good at lying
swansonized: nope
swansonized: you can't lie for shit
swansonized: i can.
biSEXual virgin: dude yes i can
swansonized: i'm the shit at lying
biSEXual virgin: i am the pimp liar
swansonized: i'm snoop dogg of lying
biSEXual virgin: cuz im not pregnant
biSEXual virgin: april fools
swansonized: lol
swansonized: stupid slut
biSEXual virgin: HEHEHEHHEHEHE

swansonized: stupid fish
biSEXual virgin: your face is stupid
swansonized: my face ain't pregnant

biSEXual virgin: wow if i move my boxers just right it looks like i have a penis
swansonizd: thank you.
biSEXual virgin: anytime
biSEXual virgin: i could get used to this

f o s h i z l y: my parents are totally porking
biSEXual virgin: get a camera and a drill
f o s h i z l y: OH MY GOD THIS IS THE CRAZIEST THING EVER
f o s h i z l y: theyre fighting while having sex
biSEXual virgin: hahahhahah
biSEXual virgin: nice
f o s h i z l y: i didnt think that was possible
biSEXual virgin: ive seen ppl do it in porns
f o s h i z l y: "stop talking"
biSEXual virgin: like amateur shit
f o s h i z l y: "why do you always tell me to stop talking?"
biSEXual virgin: hahahhahahhah
biSEXual virgin: NICE
f o s h i z l y: "will you just shut the hell up im trying to do this"
biSEXual virgin: VERY NICE
f o s h i z l y: "why do you always have to make a big deal out of everything"
biSEXual virgin: hhahhahahhahhah
f o s h i z l y: "i dont think i can keep this up, youre so difficult"
biSEXual virgin: yea its bad times when u cant even stop arguing long enough to fuck
f o s h i z l y: "i thuoght that was what you liked about me"
biSEXual virgin: jesus christ
f o s h i z l y: yeah
f o s h i z l y: lolZ
biSEXual virgin: thats so great
f o s h i z l y: yeah i know lol
f o s h i z l y: its really not but its damn funny
biSEXual virgin: veryvery
biSEXual virgin: haha
f o s h i z l y: im gonna go drown my sorrows in the bathtub
biSEXual virgin: hehehe
biSEXual virgin: have fun

biSEXual virgin: he isnt speaking to me right now
biSEXual virgin: because i put him in his place too roughly
biSEXual virgin: ...
biSEXual virgin: i think i called him a troll

[F4T4L_3RR0R] I swear... I don't need to see commercials for tampons while cartoons are on
[F4T4L_3RR0R] "IT'S SO SMALL I DON'T NEED THE APPLICATOR! IT FITS TO MY CONTOURS!!" "YES!! MY LABIA JUST GRABS IT LIKE A BIONIC CLAW AND TRACTOR BEAMS IT IN!!"

<zerodvde> if someone's f'ing sheep, as long as their happy I don't care to know the details
[09:19] <Strom_C> but it's not a sheep, its fish
[09:19] <zerodvde> and I'm not saying either is a sheep!

[11:39] goldfish> brb - hunting/gathering
[11:44] goldfish> mm ice cream
[11:53] kurced_> mm pizza
[11:54] goldfish> fuck... now i want pizza
[11:54] goldfish> damn youz
[11:54] kurced_> =)
[11:54] goldfish> ...
[11:55] goldfish> more hunting/gathering
[11:59] goldfish> i found ghetto frozen pizza
[12:00] goldfish> good enough
[12:03] kurced_> lol
[12:04] goldfish> :D
[12:04] goldfish> i burned my tongue on the first bite, so it almost tastes good
[12:04] goldfish> it reminds me of toast with ketchup on it

[20:21] <Accident> why does everybody always think i'm only nice when i want something :(
[20:21] <goldfish> because you were nice and now you want something
[20:22] <Accident> i was nice before too.
[20:22] <goldfish> maybe because you thought you might need something later

[14:53:53] <noid> man cant wait for the work week to start
[14:54:08] <noid> school starts agan for most
[14:54:15] <noid> keep some of the retards off the net

[22:20:15] <goldfish> i've put into good use during class something i learned from years of having a webcam
[22:20:22] <goldfish> i can yawn with my mouth closed
[22:20:40] <goldfish> without changing the expression of rapt attention on my face

[23:11:53] <Sirukin> speaking of sinners.
[23:12:31] <Sirukin> and perverts...
[23:13:18] * pegasus does the parade wave

[04:11:53] * Accident touces kurced all over
[04:12:06] <goldfish> that never gets old...
[04:12:08] <goldfish> duno why
[04:12:09] * kurced shoves cattle prod up accidents peehole
[04:12:16] * Accident moans
[04:12:18] <goldfish> haha
[04:12:26] * kurced slices his balls off real quick like
[04:12:28] <Accident> pres butan baby
[04:12:30] <Accident> oh yes
[04:12:32] * kurced feeds them to him
[04:12:33] <Accident> cut off those balls
[04:12:34] <goldfish> hahahha
[04:12:34] <Accident> mmm
[04:12:37] <Accident> so tasty

[14:43:45] <conundrum> Wow. goldfish go wear a dress or something.
[14:43:50] <conundrum> You == dude.

[23:55:15] * conundrum misses childhood.
[23:55:23] * goldfish is still in childhood
[23:55:29] <conundrum> We know.
[23:56:06] <pegasus> she has an awful lot of boob, and not very much hymen, for being a kid

[04:32:14] Accident> sk is a noob.
[04:32:20] * surekill feelz accident
[04:32:29] Accident> <3
[04:32:32] * SlipperyS feelz fishy
[04:32:38] goldfish> wth
[04:32:50] goldfish> so much feeling going on fishy lately
[04:32:51] * Accident protects fishie
[04:32:54] goldfish> haha
[04:32:54] Accident> get away from my fishie
[04:32:58] goldfish> hahaha
[04:33:00] * Accident feeds goldfish some icecream
[04:33:01] surekill> lol
[04:33:03] goldfish> nice
[04:33:10] * Accident hugs fishie
[04:33:15] * goldfish <3 Accident
[04:33:16] * surekill flushs goldfish

[01:45:36] * goldfish is now known as ninjafish
[01:45:44] <surekill> hahaha
[01:45:44] * ninjafish kills ninjesus
[01:45:50] <ninjafish> pwnt
[01:45:53] <Shua-Z> woa
[01:45:57] <Shua-Z> your hard core
[01:46:05] <surekill> she fish she hardcore
[01:46:08] <ninjafish> haha
[01:46:10] <ninjafish> you know it.
[01:46:13] * You were kicked by Shua-Z (dont fuck with jesus)

[02:56:54] <surekill> i feel pretty, oh do pretty, nanana pretty and gaaaaay

[00:18:21] <pegasus> but that doesn't change the fact that my best skill is in the sack
[00:18:44] <surekill> which quest did you do to raise that skill?

[13:49:31] * Sirukin pokes goldfish
[13:49:45] * goldfish kills Sirukin
[13:50:11] * Sirukin lies on the channel floor brutalized by the ever vicious channel pet goldfish
[13:50:29] * goldfish grins contentedly

[01:54:27] * funkyfres is now known as bigshark
[01:54:34] * bigshark ate goldfish
[01:54:45] * goldfish is now known as ninjafish
[01:54:50] <surekill> haha
[01:54:53] * ninjafish pwns bigshark
[01:54:59] * bigshark is now known as leetfish
[01:55:09] * surekill is now known as benyhana

[17:30:33] <sev_7> what kind of chick would want to fuck grease faced lanrats?
[17:31:01] <pegasus> i honestly believe that word is starting to get out that geeks are the best in bed
[17:31:20] <pegasus> see, we start out with no access to pussy, so what do we do
[17:31:22] <pegasus> we study it
[17:31:29] <pegasus> and what is the easiest thing to study?
[17:31:31] <pegasus> anatomy.
[17:32:15] <pegasus> end result being, that geeks know where to find 'the man in the canoe'
[17:32:33] <pegasus> and jocks know where to find their football, if they're lucky

[21:23:52] <surekill> if i had a chick goin down on me, id be done in about 30 seconds

[16:09:16] <pegasus> i wonder if they'll lower the age of consent by 1/3rd if they manage to figure out how to keep us from needing to sleep
[16:09:49] <pegasus> because theoretically, you should develop mentally 1/3rd faster
[16:11:40] <pegasus> that would make the age of consent == 12, and bring things more back in line with the old ways

swansonized (5:15:28 PM): i bought rome: total war
swansonized (5:15:33 PM): nice knowing you, have a good life

swansonized (2:27:37 AM): and i'm in middle of a war
swansonized (2:27:46 AM): against a numerically superior enemy
swansonized (2:27:47 AM): oh well
swansonized (2:27:49 AM): life sucks
swansonized (2:27:50 AM): time to sleep
swansonized signed off at 2:27:54 AM.

[01:19:05] * surekill hugs anna "so little girl... want some candy?"
[01:19:16] * SistrAnna nods nods nods
[01:19:36] <SistrAnna> but only if you be my sex slave.
[01:19:38] <surekill> well then sweet thing... i got a lolly in my pants...
[01:20:06] <SistrAnna> fuck that, you want someone to suck your cock, you find a shell to host marie on
[01:20:13] * surekill gets out the champagne, dims the lights, and puts on some barry white techno remixes
[01:20:23] <surekill> awwwwwww turned down
[01:20:44] <pegasus> marie is 12, and she lubs da cock
[01:21:07] * surekill hugs peg "so little guy... want some candy?"
[01:21:18] * pegasus knees surekill in the testicles
[01:21:24] * goldfish giggles
[01:21:33] * surekill lays on ground in fetal position

[15:39:51] <surekill> i think boiling water might be my new fetish of the week, the waterheater tripped out, me got blasted with scalding water, and got hard

[22:36:48] * surekill pours soda on floor, in memory of superman
[22:37:07] <goldfish> hhahaha
[22:37:20] * surekill goes to find a towel

[05:30:52] <Strom_TM> goldfish: jesus, im probably more obsessed with telephones than you are with cocks and even i dont go carving telephones in pumpkins
[05:31:00] <goldfish> you should.

[23:30:47] <Shua-z> i had to ditch my weed when the cops showed
[23:31:07] <Shua-z> I am bleading to death and delerious... but not too much to hide my drugs

[04:36:51] <goldfish> brb hunting/gathering
[04:37:12] <surekill> Ug be here when wo-man back

[21:43:47] <^Snake> someone give me something worthwhile to do with my time.
[21:44:11] * surekill unzips pants
[21:44:19] <^Snake> .....
[21:44:26] <surekill> its a big project, but you can handle it

[04:00:42] <ydobon> I only ask because when life gets really weird, I repeat a very simple mantra.
[04:01:01] <ydobon> "Lee Harvey Oswald, acting alone, killed John Fitzgerald Kennedy."
[04:01:18] <ydobon> It gets me through some tough times.
[04:01:27] <fish> excellent.
[04:01:28] <ydobon> What keeps your head on straight, fishy?
[04:01:32] <fish> my neck

[11:17:12] <RevDPklsn> if it wasn't sunday I'd have you do me a favor
[11:17:30] <Leia_Solo> its saturday dude
[11:17:37] <RevDPklsn> uh...
[11:17:45] <RevDPklsn> oh yeah..
[11:17:47] <RevDPklsn> lol
[11:17:53] <RevDPklsn> want to do me a favor?

[22:17:41] <toastydeath> you sound pro-life
[22:17:50] <goldfish> me?
[22:17:54] <toastydeath> yeah
[22:18:02] <goldfish> no, i'm very pro-abortion
[22:18:10] <goldfish> to the point that i want to enforce it instead of making it a choice
[22:18:11] * noxic sets mode: +o goldfish

[23:49:16] <mmca> oh and not that i know how to play this game called poker
[23:49:22] <mmca> but im sure someone will teach me
[23:49:33] <surekill> its like go fish right
[23:49:44] <mmca> like crazy 8s
[23:49:54] <surekill> bangin
[23:50:05] <goldfish> i pwn at go fish
[23:50:12] <mmca> no you dont
[23:50:16] <goldfish> yes i does
[23:50:24] <mmca> ok let play
[23:50:26] <goldfish> ok
[23:50:29] <mmca> do you have any 7s?
[23:50:35] <goldfish> go fish
[23:50:38] <mmca> hahah
[23:50:42] <mmca> that was fun
[23:50:45] <goldfish> yep
[23:50:49] <goldfish> did you like my mad skillez?
[23:50:52] <mmca> and you are good
[23:51:04] <goldfish> you're not too shabby yourself
[23:51:10] <mmca> danke

<sizz> i climbed a tree, and saw one of my cats on the neighbors roof, and i was all "Whats up, you didnt know i could do that did you"

[06:12:35] <Strom_TM> my signature on all my outgoing email here at work is:
[06:12:36] <Strom_TM> "It is very easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of all sorts of modern electronic systems by the sense of achievement you receive just from getting them to work at all."

[05:52:02] <Accident> <goldfish>that's so deluxe.</goldfish>

[19:37:59] <Strom_C> you know you've won the fight when you're raping the other guy up the ass
[19:38:12] <surekill> im never gonna fight strom... ever

[12:15:40] <datamorph> very good.
[12:15:43] <datamorph> you get the gold star.
[12:16:17] * conundrum throws the gold star at datamorph's eye
[12:16:37] <goldfish> jew star
[12:17:06] <conundrum> Online communities accept every race, gender and social status; but still rank on jews.
[12:17:21] <conundrum> Clearly, the germans had it right.

[02:19:13] <sinonym> i got a surplus video camera
[02:19:15] <sinonym> i ought to practice with it. if i knew how to use it, i could make my fortune, shooting torture videos in iraq.
[02:19:45] <sinonym> guess i'd need a security clearance though
[02:19:53] <Ydobon> ???
[02:19:59] <sinonym> and body armour
[02:20:09] <Ydobon> You can shoot torture videos in Vegas, and you don't need a security clearance or body armor.
[02:20:46] <Ydobon> I got crackheads a short walk from my apartment who will do ANYTHING for $20.
[02:21:05] <Ydobon> I mean, if a woman will let you fuck her in the ass for $20, what'll she do for $200?

[23:31:02] * Sirukin sticks his penis in your ear
[23:31:16] <goldfish> left or right?
[23:31:37] <Sirukin> left
[23:31:42] <goldfish> damn
[23:31:44] <goldfish> that's my virgin ear
[23:31:50] <Sirukin> hahaha

[16:47:19] <surekill> ditch em all, ill hook you up with fish for a nominal fee
[16:47:40] <goldfish> sk: i can pimp myself, thank you
[16:47:50] <mattrix_m> i get 15%
[16:48:11] <mmca> goldfish: let me... you will get a better class of client
[16:48:20] <goldfish> m: tempting
[16:49:03] <mmca> you let me know.. im here for you
[16:49:31] <noid> to quote m, behind every successful business theres always the korean guy.
[16:49:40] <noid> let m be your korean guy and you'll go far

[11:30:19] * cuervo idly wonders if he's too drunk to drive.
[11:30:36] <pegasus> you don't have a car anyway
[11:30:51] <cuervo> yeah, but I've been playing a lot of GTA:SA.

[21:37:23] * disaanee has joined #okcupid
[21:37:51] <disaanee> ... Whoa. Lots of lowercase names
[21:38:45] <goldfish> lowercase is the new uppercase
[21:39:43] <disaanee> Damn trends, I can never keep up with them
[21:39:58] <goldfish> make your own, then people have to run to catch up and you can point and laugh at them
[21:40:15] <disaanee> I've never been that original, tragically
[21:41:05] * goldfish points and laughs at disaanee

goldfish says:
your font is nonsense
Slashwin says:
Your comp's probably seeing it wrong.
goldfish says:
no
goldfish says:
i see it
goldfish says:
it just looks stupid
Slashwin says:
Hmm. Deal with it.
goldfish says:
k
Slashwin can't reply because you've blocked him or her.

[00:54:04] <Neep> okcupid's new theme is gay
[00:58:21] <Neep> at first I panicked and thought that suddenly I was gay and that the world looked different through gay eyes

00:17:03 | exodus - blue is my fav color
00:17:14 | exodus - my ehyes are blue on the outside, with green on the inside
00:17:25 | exodus - with like a hazel ring inside the green
00:17:44 | exodus - it's really seductive
00:18:00 | exodus - if u looked into my eyes, i would have u doing anything i wanted
00:18:15 | exodus - u would be awestruck at the sexynes of my eyes
00:18:26 | exodus - maybe speechless
00:18:57 | goldfish - silence. i don't care about your eyes.

[11:28:58] <Guest1> i hear you sell personal information
[11:30:21] <Guest1> are you still there
[11:37:28] <Guest1> what do i have to do to get your help
[11:37:51] <goldfish> i need the codeword
[11:37:54] <goldfish> or else i won't trust you
[11:38:08] <Guest1> how can i get it
[11:39:18] <Guest1> is it nigger
[11:40:07] <Guest1> what is the codeword
[11:40:52] <Guest1> do u even have any skills
[11:41:56] <goldfish> sure i have skills
[11:42:00] <goldfish> like numchuck skills
[11:42:03] <goldfish> handball skills
[11:42:17] <Guest1> i have the codeword
[11:42:48] <goldfish> ok, give it to me
[11:43:01] <Guest1> marmalade
[11:43:31] <goldfish> that is the not the codeword. you have been expunged.
[11:46:04] <Guest1> is it cheese n crackers
[11:46:34] <goldfish> no. you have failed.
[11:47:20] <goldfish> do you want a hint?
[11:47:34] <Guest1> yes
[11:47:39] <goldfish> how does it feel to want?
[11:48:34] <Guest1> its cool if you dont want to help me i will find someone els
[11:49:15] <goldfish> i need the codeword
[11:49:24] <Guest1> i cant get it
[11:49:31] <goldfish> then i can't help you
[11:49:33] <goldfish> ask toolow
[11:49:36] <Guest1> noone will tell me
[11:49:37] <goldfish> he's a leet haxor
[11:49:55] <Guest1> i did and you said it was wrong
[11:50:24] <goldfish> ask other people then
[11:50:27] <goldfish> maybe someone will help you
[11:50:28] <Guest1> can you atleast tell me where i can get info
[11:50:36] <goldfish> www.google.com
[11:50:46] <Guest1> i tried there
[11:50:56] <Guest1> i need personal info
[11:51:43] <Guest1> ok bye
[11:53:06] <goldfish> http://www.ratemycameltoe.com
[11:53:29] <goldfish> the answers are coded in the pictures

[01:21:20] <s1c> BTW bos I love the site and desgin
[01:22:18] <bos> thanks man i didnt design it
[01:22:20] <bos> you're like 8 for 8 tonight
[01:22:24] <bos> can we stop talking now

[22:27:26] <surekill> i just taped my eyelids open, this red tape is cool
[22:29:14] <Lordnynex> wtf
[22:29:26] <Lordnynex> thats not normal

[03:03:11] <tripballs> what do you think happens when rich parents have a crippled child?
[03:03:20] <Das_Troll> soup?

<@sloth_> this is the worst month ever
<@sloth_> i just got fired today
<@sloth_> because i quoted pulp fiction on work irc
<@#916> was it the "bad motherfucker" line?
<@sloth_> no
<@sloth_> the dead nigger storage
<@#916> hahhahah

[12:40:02] <lysol> i'm going to drive my car off a bridge tonight.
[12:40:12] <lysol> after i drink a bunch of jagermeister.
[12:46:16] <nulpointe> dibs on your stuff

19:21:07 | goldfish - they're talking about invoices
19:21:20 | Kary341 - wtf are invoices?
19:21:25 | goldfish - http://www.m-w.com
19:21:52 | Kary341 - i dont want a website i can see them at i want to know what it is
19:21:55 | Kary341 - fucker
19:22:01 | goldfish - you fucking moron
19:22:03 | goldfish - that's a dictionary

[00:05:02] <pegasus> it's amazing to me how goldfish is the longest lasting girl in #watch
[00:05:34] <sev> she's basically a man.
[00:05:54] <pegasus> except it's much more entertaining for her to be the target of bukkake
[00:06:23] * sev shudders at that thought
[00:06:36] <pegasus> which thought
[00:06:43] <pegasus> man bukkake or fish bukkake
[00:06:44] <sev> a penis inside of goldfish.
[00:06:56] <pegasus> ???
[00:06:58] <sev> actually
[00:07:17] <sev> i thought goldfish was going to be 300% fugly and 400% fat
[00:07:24] <sev> she's not, it's weirding me out.
[00:07:55] <pegasus> heh
[00:08:37] <goldfish> heh
[00:08:50] <sev> really, i'm not joking, it truly blows my mind that she's not FUCKING fugly
[00:09:03] <goldfish> sev you've got such a way with words
[00:09:54] <sev> redundant?
[00:10:05] <goldfish> charming.
[00:10:21] <sev> I'm handsome and charming.
[00:10:28] <sev> I'm a fucking fairytale come to fucking life.

[08:32:54] <sev> dude, that makes me remember my dream, i had a whole dream about goldfish
[08:33:21] <cuervo> was she correcting your spelling? :P
[08:33:54] <sev> oh man, okay, so before i went to bed (in my dream) i asked fish to wake me up because my alarm clock was broken, and she called me and made the very same noise my alarm clock makes, with her mouth
[08:39:30] <sev> oh, there was also a part of my dream when goldfish was ripping posters off my door because she has grown fond of running into it
[08:39:36] <sev> but i can't remember that section so well

[00:14:59] * cosmo changes topic to '<goldfish> i'm a slut, so i buy condoms in 40 packs at costco'

[23:45:03] <cosmo> i use Fiji for everything
[23:45:07] <cosmo> i make my ramen with it
[23:45:12] <cosmo> and my coffee
[23:45:45] <cosmo> i would bathe with Fiji water if i could

biSEXual virgin: so i walk in my house with some guy and i introduce him to my mom and she says "hi are you from the internet?"
nahtaiv3l: ...from the internet.
nahtaiv3l: That's like how people in the 70s used to be like, "You're from television!"

00:25:36 | goldfish - oh my god i'm growing up
00:25:41 | goldfish - i was about to throw this bottle on the floor
00:25:47 | goldfish - and stopped because i knew i'd have to pick it up later
00:26:02 | kiNO - tomorrow ill teach you how to tie shoes
00:26:12 | goldfish - <3 kino
00:26:13 | kiNO - and then, we'll make peanut butter and jelly

[13:57:08] <surekill> i want a monkey with a red vest
[13:57:32] <dblmca> ya mean you dont already have one? whats the matter with you?
[13:58:19] <Strom_TM> they're so popular you can get three for a buck at the 99c store
[13:58:56] <surekill> that sounds too good to be true

[12:23:06] <surekill> i have extremely low expectations of people, so if i get 2 more hot sauceses at the drive through, that imigrant is okay in my book

[18:28:25] * sev hugs all of #watch, including the ones currently masturbating and not talking.
[18:29:55] <velvet> my hands are clean, honest
[18:30:15] <goldfish> i make no such promises
[18:30:31] <sirukin> I can vouch for that
[18:30:35] <goldfish> heh
[18:30:47] <sev> i don't think i'd want to touch gfish irl

[21:58:33] <surekill> 10 bucks worth of slim jims has to be the best investment ive made in a long time

goldfish says:
mouths
Eric says:
Are you correcting me?
goldfish says:
yes
Eric says:
Bye.

[16:49:18] <phubarr> you know that mcdonalds theme song on their commercials
[16:49:21] <phubarr> the one that goes
[16:49:28] <phubarr> da da dip dadaa
[16:49:41] <phubarr> it brings out FURY and RAGE in me
[16:49:56] <phubarr> i want to DESTROY a mcdonalds
[16:50:08] <phubarr> i HATE that ANNOYING song

[12:18:05] <sevrd> how the fuck do these slot loading p2s come out
[12:22:46] <sevrd> JESUS CHRIST
[12:22:51] <sevrd> that was like playing Operation

[14:06:13] <cosmo> i went to Wal-greens to fill a prescription and they gave me someone else's medicine.
[14:08:11] <cosmo> they started with the same letter.
[14:08:22] <cosmo> and we had the same last name.
[14:08:30] <cosmo> so i guess the pharmacist just assumed.
[14:08:34] <cosmo> i could have died.
[14:08:44] <cosmo> what if that medicine was something hardcore.
[14:08:51] <DemonWolf> then
[14:08:58] <DemonWolf> it would've jumped out of the bag
[14:09:08] <DemonWolf> and started throwing your ass around the store

[10:22:35] <surekill> i want a house with a white picket fence, 3 kids, a dog, and a 19 year old girlfriend on the side

[19:03:52] <Ren|> just like horror flicks involving a small child singing
[19:04:58] <Ren|> nothing says "you're gonna die, bitch" like ring around the rosy.

[15:42:19] <speakeasy> hence the reason i get more play than my friend at parties.
[15:42:21] <speakeasy> :\
[15:43:14] <goldfish> Rohypnol?

[14:38:19] <goldfish> i'm going to go bathe.
[14:42:05] <noxic> only jesus can wash away your filth

[18:59:45] <noxic> The most private thing I'm willing to admit here is:
[18:59:45] <noxic> I'm still a virgin.
[19:00:03] <goldfish> me too
[19:00:08] <goldfish> i'm saving myself till i get raped
[19:07:45] <sarrf> what's your address?
[19:07:57] <goldfish> i'm not one of those easy rape victims
[19:07:59] <goldfish> i require effort
[19:08:04] <goldfish> and maybe a stun gun
[19:08:09] <goldfish> i think that'd be sexy
[19:10:13] <noxic> i love you
[19:10:30] <goldfish> me too

[10:52:11] <angeltear> well, you guys are mean and a waste of time.
[10:52:15] * angeltear has left #okcupid
[10:52:49] <lysol> what kind of person looks for nice people on efnet
[10:53:01] <goldfish> srsly

[19:51:41] <prot0n> where's goldfish
[19:51:45] <prot0n> she'd enjoy this conversation
[19:51:56] <prot0n> she's sick and twisted
[19:51:56] <phubarr> who found her?
[19:51:57] <prot0n> just like us
[19:52:01] <phubarr> nice
[19:52:02] <prot0n> me
[19:52:06] <phubarr> where at?
[19:52:08] <phubarr> is this the tease
[19:52:11] <prot0n> she's local
[19:52:15] <prot0n> but i met her on avchat
[19:52:19] <prot0n> and she happened to be on efnet too
[19:52:24] <phubarr> whoa
[19:52:29] <prot0n> s'gonna be so hard to get in her pants though
[19:52:32] <prot0n> cause she knows what's up
[19:52:33] <phubarr> why
[19:52:36] <prot0n> game doesn't work
[19:52:43] <phubarr> no game just be straight up with her
[19:52:47] <prot0n> yep
[19:53:01] <phubarr> i wouldnt want a chick that falls for game
[19:53:11] <prot0n> true
[19:53:15] <prot0n> i've settled a couple times though
[19:53:19] <prot0n> but she's a keeper
[19:53:24] <phubarr> hehe
[19:53:30] <phubarr> thats cool man you should try
[19:53:45] <prot0n> hehe
[19:57:46] <sc0tt_> irc chicks?
[19:57:47] <testies> irc chicks are probably hot
[19:57:51] <sc0tt_> or not
[19:57:59] <prot0n> depends
[19:58:04] <prot0n> not the usual irc wh0re
[19:58:12] <prot0n> that dates ircops and sucks dick for ops

[22:20:16] <noxic> have you really fucked hookers
[22:20:26] <lysol> no
[22:20:33] <lysol> that's later
[22:20:51] <noxic> i'll give you my number when that time comes

[02:40:08] <iceblaze-> firefox is easier to use too
[02:40:14] <iceblaze-> has big buttons that do stuff

[14:21:35] <noxic> i havent had a glass of milk in 11 years or so
[14:21:39] <noxic> shit's vile
[14:26:03] <goldfish> try pouring sugar in it
[14:26:04] <goldfish> it helps

<Axe> I
<Axe> do
<Axe> not
<Axe> know
<Axe> where
<Axe> family
<Axe> doctors
<Axe> acquired
<Axe> illegibly
<Axe> perplexing
<Axe> handwriting;
<Axe> nevertheless,
<Axe> extraordinary
<Axe> pharmaceutical
<Axe> intellectuality,
<Axe> counterbalancing
<Axe> indecipherability,
<Axe> transcendentalizes
<Axe> intercommunications'
<Axe> incomprehensibleness.

<knghtbrd> Called up the Bureau of Alcohol, Toboacco, and Firearms regional office and asked, "What wine goes best with an M-16?" The guy who answered did his best to be helpful: "That depends. What are you smoking?"

[21:27:01] <surekill> my new fav word is cunnilingus
[21:27:59] <surekill> when the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie thatsa cunnilingus

(4:28:02) nahtaiv3l: If they gave 3 free russian virgins away with each copy of halo 2... I'd buy 2 copies, trade em in for Killzone, and have a happy night.
(4:28:29) crovax612: ahahah
(4:28:37) nahtaiv3l: But they have to be 17, and sexy, and it has to be legal.

[20:53:27] <gipper> shaved pubes are for queers and little girls
[20:54:04] <goldfish> nonsense
[20:54:12] <goldfish> shaved pubes are for people who dont like hair in their teeth
[20:54:23] <toastydeath> i shave my junk
[20:54:25] <toastydeath> and my legs
[20:54:33] <toastydeath> and i have so much sex i wonder why my dick doesnt fall off
[20:54:44] <toastydeath> OH WAIT THERE IT GOES
[20:54:50] <toastydeath> R.I.P. PENIS

[20:35:16] <Naoki> see, we have a chick
[20:35:19] <Naoki> w00t
[20:35:29] <Dendrin> who?
[20:35:32] * Naoki points to goldfish
[20:35:54] <Ayden> i don't think she's a chick dude
[20:35:59] <Ayden> i think she's a man that i thought was a chick
[20:36:16] * Naoki shoves his cock down goldfishs throat
[20:37:00] <Ayden> Naoki, you just shoved your cock in a man's mouth
[20:37:03] <Ayden> and you're liking it!

[22:11:13] bos> what is the required level of hotness to make up for an 18 year old woman using "jklol" frequently in an aim conversation?
[22:11:44] goldfish> unforgivable
[22:20:13] bos> goldfish: i guess you're right on the unforgivable
[22:20:35] bos> her: what did u think of me!!!
[22:20:45] bos> her: be honest!!
[22:21:01] bos> me: i don't know you any more, how can i have an opinion?
[22:21:10] bos> her: oh geeze, i mean looks wise
[22:21:18] bos> me: pretty as always?
[22:21:31] bos> sigh

[17:57:11] <surekill> im killing millions of ants that decided to invade my room
[17:59:37] <surekill> i did a foward roll into the room with a bottle of bug spray, and started blasting fools left and right, and they was running but i chased them down and killed them all
[18:01:18] <surekill> bug spray.. makin me high... nananana so high
[18:42:23] <surekill> ants dont seem to like the liquid inside compressed air cans
[18:42:28] <surekill> they dont like it so much they die
[18:47:55] <surekill> i kinda frostbitted my finger from the liquid, but they must be defeated at all costs

[21:07:14] <surekill> you can dance if you want to nananana something behind, cuz if they dont dance nanana dance they aint no friends of mine

[09:00:49] <surekill> i think im going retarded, i was outside smoking and i spat, and it went all over me, and then i pissed on myself

[16:41:01] <sevrdseot> this is like shit fish would say
[16:41:02] <sevrdseot> <InsoFox> real life is too easy. I've been playing it for 22 years and I've never died.
[16:41:03] <sevrdseot> <Jane-> You've just got yours set on beginner mode, wuss.
[16:41:03] <sevrdseot> <Jane-> If you set it at the hardest you get born in Zaire.

Enter supporting content here

http://www.narcissisticgoldfish.com